The end of 1996 has come to close, and I have found that I could care less one way or another. I have watched myself made some fucked up mistakes and have some good times. I have watched this web page grow from being your basic NetScape gray background and my picture blown up to fit the screen, to a pooh background with chains (kinky eh?) and to my last project, which looked fairly professional (pay her enough and she can do
The only voices I believe are the ones inside my head.
I have gotten complaints that this page was too sexual, been told I am “above cool” and et al. I have met more people I would ever care to meet, I have dedicated my life to “way of the internet” and have sacrificed (or whored about) just about anything to get access. I have seen my obsession with the unknown become a full time job and career.
I have watched lovers leave me and I have left lovers. I have been back stabbed and lied to. I have helped people in times of need and been helped back. I have fallen in love, made love with and fought with my mates. I have taken more responsibility and stress then humanly possibly.
I am breathing
I look at the year in review and have tried to recap all that has gone on. I have grieved for what I do not have and moan for what I want. I sit in darkened rooms, banging my head against the wall wondering if anything is possible and sometimes I just hold my kitties, mierlyn and simmy, as though they were the only things left.
I am a demanding mistress, and you will not be able to afford me.
Words from gilded tongues move my soul as well as pretty words from evil doers. I am cynical and wondrous at the same. I trust everyone and no one. I am a liar and a hypocrite, a saint and a prostitute, good and evil, Alpha and Omega, the end and the beginning.